Thoughts of the Past
by VoldemortsLemming
Summary: My take on Archangel's moments and thoughts on Omega just before Shepard finds him. Contains spoilers and mush. Oneshot.


Ok, just some stupid mushy story, I tried and tried to resist the urge to write a Garrus obsessed fanfic about Mass effect but, sadly to no prevail.

Basically it's how I imagine the meeting of 'Archangel' on omega would play out in garrus's mind, including my soppy version of how he found out about Shepard's demise.

Don't tell me I didn't warn you!

Oh and it contains a few spoilers! If you haven't played ME2 before then don't read it, but then, why would you be here if you hadn't played Mass Effect before? ^_~

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any of these characters, it's probably for the best anyway because if I did they would be locked in my wardrobe and never allowed to see the light of day, and then the world would never get saved! Kudos to Bioware though! ^_^

Are you sitting comfortably? Good then you can begin!

* * *

><p>Garrus Vakarian sighed before hastily ejecting the now useless thermal clip, he ducked down and fumbled with the new heat sink, he could hear the mercs crossing the bridge, their heavy boots clumping noisily on the metallic surface. He would shoot them, like he had shot hundreds before, he didn't mind that much, the more Eclipse, Blues Suns and Blood Pack he took out the better…<p>

_They're all crooked, they should all pay for their crimes, It doesn't make a difference how high up in the chain they are…_

No, that wasn't the thing bugging him right now, the thing that worried him the most was his own reserves, he hadn't planned on this… losing all his men… friends… one by one, closing bloodshot eyes that even now haunted his thoughts, eyes that had once wrinkled into smiles and drawn into frown's of determination. Eyes that would never open again…

He wasn't invincible, it was easy to imagine that for some short space of time he really was, the mercs where an easy target, especially when they had to clear the single bridge into the hideout, but he was weary, it had been non-stop for days now, he couldn't afford sleep, but he wouldn't complain,

_Shepard wouldn't have complained._

Finally the heat sink slipped into place and he swung round, raising the scope to his eye, in seconds he had taken out two mercs with a single, carefully aimed bullet. He crouched down, reloading was second nature to him now, it was almost as if the gun had become part of his arm. Seconds passed as he took down the remaining blue suns operatives, men, women, it was all the same now. Once he would've felt a pang of guilt, these people had families, children would grow up without parents because of him, but he hardly noticed their faces now, they where just another number as his visor's running tally counted the last few mercs he had killed,

631, 632, 633

He let the air slip through his teeth as the wave finished, time to catch his breath, time to hastily fix his jamming rifle, as long as it held out until the next wave was over, after that, who knows? Who knows when it's time to die?

"Damn it Shepard!" he tried to push the thought of death out of his mind, it always brought the same memories up, cold, harsh and extremely real memories.

* * *

><p><em>The news screen flashed outside his office again, he could see the light coming in from under the door, then the hum of words came thrumming through the walls, his plates came together in a frown, Why? Why did C-Sec insist on those crappy news terminals? It was bad enough at quiet times, but on a Monday lunchtime, nothing was worse, and more frequent, then members of the public using the damn things to keep up to date on bloody celebrities. He swore that Pailin had one installed right outside his office on purpose, ever since the Christmas party he had been acting more stern then usual…<em>

_"It was just a practical joke" Garrus smirked beneath his frown remembering the look on the executor's face, his grin was gone in an instant however as the citadel news jingle stated, the annoying music came blasting through the door like it wasn't even there,_

_"Great, someone has turned the bloody thing onto full volume again…." He cursed loudly and turned back to his notepad…_

_"THIS IS EMILY WONG REPORTING…" Garrus's hand slipped and he watched as a huge red line drew itself right across the 10 page form he had been painstakingly filling out, he ripped the page out with such force that the whole note book went flying, he watched it, almost in slow motion as it tumbled through the air, and landed with a 'plop' in his lunchtime coffee. With a growl he picked it up, and threw the whole mug across the room where it landed in a heap of screwed up paper, somewhere under the mountain was a wastepaper basket…_

_"Why, in this digital age are C-Sec still using blasted NOTEPADS!"_

_"…NEWS FLASH JUST IN…"_

_"grrrrrrrr! SHUT UP!" He stormed over to the door, the stress of only a few weeks back at C-Sec boiling over, he didn't wait for it to slide gracefully aside, he just grabbed the sides of the door and pushed them roughly out of his way, he knew his actions wouldn't help but something inside of him snapped, like it had done before, he didn't see the point of filling in the forms anyway, the guy was obviously a criminal he should be in jail by now…_

_The corridor outside was empty… Some bastard had turned the terminal on and walked off! Like always! He went to pull the plug when something on the screen caught his eyes,_

_N7_

_He looked up, and immediately wished he hadn't, all hint of anger faded away in a single moment, the rest of the room seemed to fall away around him and he stared at the pictures on the screen, fire, bodies, pieces of debris everywhere, a lump grew in his throat…_

_He waited, holding his breath…_

_"…Most of the crew survived…" His body relaxed, he knew they would survive, anyone traveling with Shepard would survive, they always did._

_"…However, not all managed to make it to the escape pods in time…" He stiffened again, he didn't want to hear, he didn't want to know who it was, some small part of him dreading the worse…_

_"No, she's still alive, she survives everything …" his voice was quiet, too quiet, it reverberated around the corridor, he could still hear it echoing in his mind as he watched the pictures changing._

_A reporter flashed onto the screen, running after a man who was hobbling down the street, trying to ignore the cameras, but he just wasn't fast enough, his leg…_  
><em>"Mr Moreau?...Mr…Mr Moreau? Is there anything you would like to tell the citadel public?"<em>  
><em>"No."<em>  
><em>"Anything you would like to say about Shepard…"<em>  
><em>"Shepard's… gone… I know… I saw….she…she… she's gone ok!" the man pushed the camera out of the way and climbed painfully into a cab…The picture faded.<em>  
><em>"That's right, Commander Shepard, the first human spectre has died. Experts are calling it a tragic accident. The pilot, Jeff Moreau, has confirmed in a statement today that the commanding officer, Shepard was killed in the blast, the citadel is not treating her death as suspicious, others that died in the crash have yet to be named…"<em>

_Garrus stared at the computer screen as the world he knew crashed down around him…_

_She was the one person that ever did anything right…._

_He couldn't see the pictures anymore, his vision blurred as water welled up in his eyes, he wanted to look away, he wanted to wake up, he wanted it to never have happened, a dream, but he couldn't…_

_He couldn't get the image out of his mind…_

_The Normandy…_

_The news panel went black. Garrus stood there, he had no idea how long for, staring at the blank walls. Finally after what seemed like hours he spoke,_

_"So that's it then? Shepard?" His voice was cold, as if emotion didn't exist, his legs felt like lead as he walked back to his office, eventually he slouched back in his chair, and placed his head in his hands, allowing the tears to gently caress his cheeks, he hadn't felt like this before, not for anything.._

_Death,_  
><em>He was so familiar with it,<em>  
><em>It seemed almost mundane,<em>  
><em>Except this time it had claimed the ultimate prize,<em>  
><em>The ultimate victory,<em>

* * *

><p><em>"Shepard…"<em>

There was no one like her, she made it look so easy, leading a group of people into almost certain death. Where so many would've crumbled, she stayed strong, she pulled them all out of it alive, with the exception of Williams, but she hadn't taken those decisions lightly, not once did she take her authority for granted, but neither had she let the burden get too great . She had risen from the ashes of the council chambers, and still she had smiled, he had watched her tiny body taking down full grown Krogan. She was quick, smart, and she never took no for an answer, she was never content with the side-lines, she was always there, the front of the team, and they had followed, Human, Quarian, Asari, Krogan and Turian united. She got everything done, every little menial task she had carried out with a passion to do the right thing. There had occasionally been tension, she had a soft heart, Garrus had seen it, and because of that there had been the odd argument, sometimes people need to die, prison doesn't work… But he had never been able to squash the soft centre from her, she had stood up to him and followed her own path.

And he had come to respect her for it, her methods where not the same as his, but then that's what made her different,

_Perhaps that's why she succeeded where I failed?_

The thought stung a bit, she seemed so small, she barely came up to his shoulder. Garrus wasn't an overly proud man but he had once believed he could do the same as her, he had tried to command a group of people, leading them into dangers, after all how hard could it be. Now he realised she had simply made an impossible task look easy, she had hidden the pain, the stress and everything that went with it. He could remember sometimes her gaze would drop to the floor, perhaps she had felt the same as him at one time, perhaps on Akuze she had experienced the same things, but the difference was she never showed it…

…Garrus knew he did.

Something whipped past him, snapping him out of his thoughts, a bullet. He cursed himself for slipping into a daydream, thinking about her wouldn't bring her back, he had to stay focused on now, the next wave had started sooner then expected. He looked through the scope once more, he could see people jumping over the barricade onto the bridge, one of them faltered slightly, female, as she turned around he lined up a headshot, but something stilled his finger as it hovered over the trigger, he watched as she raised a hand and subconsciously tucked a stray strand of brilliant red hair behind her ear, it was a stupid habit really, and yet, he could have sworn he had seen it somewhere before, the same flowing movement…

_Wait that wasn't Eclipse armour…_

_"Probably another stupid freelancer…"_

He watched with an almost morbid curiosity as she ducked behind a crate, stupid, it didn't provide any cover from him, he could see her clearly, she reached over her shoulder and pulled out a sniper rifle, wha… who is this freelancer? She's crazy if she thinks she can… Suddenly he ducked to one side as the rifle went off but there was no whistling bullet, there was a thud over by the door, a cloaked figure fell to the ground, his omni tool flickered and died, someone had been trying to hack through the lock. Garrus took one last glance back at the strange woman as she took aim again, this time on a Blue Sun turian, there was no need to get his hopes up… not yet… but he could've sworn…

"Careful she's with Archangel!" Garrus could hear the Turian shouting directly below him in the building. If she _was_here to help him then that was the last thing he wanted the mercs to know. He set the bullets, and lined up the shot,

PFF! Her shields went down.

"Well how come he's firing at her then?" Someone else shouted,

"I don't kn…." The turian never finished his sentence.

Garrus grinned, he couldn't help himself, he ran to the other side, watching her move up the stairs, his heart racing, hoping against hope. Even though he knew it wasn't possible, he just wanted to see, his mind was screaming at him to fire at her, she looked dangerous and there was no way she could be who he thought it was, and yet in his heart he couldn't bring himself to do it, besides if she really was the infiltrator that he knew then she would have no problem hacking his lock, if not... He turned his attention back to the rest of the mercs, smiling under his helmet.

645, 646, 647

"scratched one…" he whispered under his breath, then,

"Archangel?"

He didn't turn around, he kept his rifle trained on the last freelancer, but inside his heart turned over, that voice…

"Arghh" The man fell to the floor, a perfect shot to the head. Garrus lowered his gun and turned around to face the last person in the universe that he had expected to see, he smiled under his helmet, somehow, he had no idea how, but somehow, Commander Shepard was standing in front of him, her loose hair blowing around her face, even when she tucked it briskly back behind an ear. She looked good… good for someone who was dead anyway.

He paused, looking at her, her face was shining in the apartment light, startling green eyes staring at him questioningly, she hadn't recognised him yet, but he knew who she was, her body, her face, her manner, the way she crossed her arms and looked at him, a slight, jaunty smile on her lips, then he noticed the huge scar that was plastered across one cheek and his heart skipped a beat. It was like looking upon something that you were used to, a sentimental object that you had lost years ago, and then, at the least expected moment, finding It again, and just as your heart leapt in joy you saw that it was broken, torn apart. As he looked into her eyes, they were haunted by a new expression, right at the very back of her eyes he saw an unforgettable experience of pain. He lowered his helmet,

"Shepard… I thought you were dead"

_Maybe we both are? _

"Garrus!" Her face lit up as she went to embrace him but then she stopped herself, "what are you doing here?" Garrus looked down, he didn't really want to think about it, but this was Shepard, she would ask, and you would tell her, because that's what you did.

"Just a little target practice, keeping my skills sharp…"

"You ok?" Her tone was low, worried,

_'Me? What about you, you're supposed to be dead!' _Garrus tried to ignore his thoughts, Shepard didn't answer questions, she asked them.

"Been better, but it sure is good to see a friendly face." He paused to catch his breath, "Killing mercs is hard work, especially on my own"

"Since when did you start calling yourself archangel?" As she said this she grinned, a familiar sly smile,

"It's just a name the locals gave me, for… for all my…. Good deeds…" He let out a small laugh, the first one in a long time. It was true, and strangely enough he had become quite accustom to the nickname, but now, coming from the lips of Shepard, it seemed wrong somehow, he coughed nervously, "I don't mind it but… ehem it's just Garrus to you!"

"you nailed me good a couple times by the way."

"Concussive rounds only, no harm done, didn't want the mercs getting suspicious…"

"U-huh…"

"If I wanted to do more then take your shields down, I'd have done it….. besides you were taking your sweet time, I needed to get you moving…" it was as if she had been there all along, her sense of humour had always been similar to his own.

As he watched Shepard shake her head at him, he finally felt a weight lift off his shoulders, he wasn't out of the woods yet but he knew that this was just the beginning…

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><p>As you can tell I wasn't really ready to finish but I had to finish it somewhere so I just added a cheesy closing line!<p>

Told you it was Soppy!

I romanced him, can you tell? :D

Ok, that's my ramble over for the day, feel free to comment and say things like, you're amazing and wonderful! I like that! Just please refrain from flames, they will burn my nice new crispy soppy fanfic!  
>Mysti x<p> 


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